Four Sheets to the Wind
by Relena's Glam Squad
Summary: More drunken antics. More sexual tension. More EXPLOSIONS. More... Boston accents! That's right, everyone's favorite trio is back, and they're more inebriated than ever. Find out what Duo, Heero and Relena get into, after they get into the mini-bar... [A continuation, not necessarily sequel, to our drunken caper 'Three Sheets to the Wind!]
1. Beers in Boston

**August 12, A.C. 197**

 **Seaport Hotel**

 **Boston, Massachusetts, former USA**

"Of all these damn conferences, this one has _got_ to be the most boring."

Duo Maxwell sighed dramatically from his post, looking to his partner for sympathy. His supposed pal did not respond.

Heero Yuy's eyes were trained on the Vice Foreign Minister below, where she stood onstage at a podium addressing the auditorium full of delegates and media. _Typical,_ Duo scoffed inwardly. Actually, when he failed to get Heero's attention, he scoffed out loud, but his sighs did nothing to pull the devoted Preventer agent and bodyguard from his hyper-focused gaze.

If Duo had had something to throw at him, he might have, if only to watch Heero snap and snarl and become all but unglued. All over a girl. Not just any girl, of course. He could certainly understand why any guy would be enamored with Relena Darlian; and, naturally, the beautiful, young politician had her fair share of admirers. But it was amusing, nevertheless, to see the otherwise impeccable Heero Yuy become so easily flustered.

And, right now, Duo was dying for a little entertainment.

He smiled lazily and tipped his head toward Relena's tiny figure below. "She's lookin' good these days, am I right? Growth spurt or something?"

Heero's brow creased, but his eyes didn't move. "What are you talking about?" he asked under his breath.

Duo's smile spread into a grin. "You know what I mean. Not a _vertical_ growth spurt." His brows waggled as he raised both his hands and feigned squeezing imaginary breasts. Heero's frown deepened.

"You're an idiot," he muttered.

"Pssh, don't pretend you haven't noticed. You spend so much time staring at her- _ow_!"

With a single pull of Duo's braid, Heero sent him crashing onto the floor of the balcony. Several pairs of eyes from the audience snapped up to their area. Heero tipped his chin upward to indicate that nothing was amiss. Relena's voice never wavered, her eyes trained on the crowd. Heero's lips tugged into a smile.

He had noticed… a few things. But as usual, he kept his observations to himself.

Later that night, though, he had to endure more of Duo's.

"Do you ever get tired of just _guarding_ Relena's body?" Duo asked him with a smirk. They were in the posh hotel's bar. Relena had retired for the night and, after Heero had done another sweep of her room and declared it uncompromised, he had allowed the next detail to take over night watch. Something he preferred to do. But he and Duo had been assigned to accompany her during the conference itself, so that meant when she slept, they slept. Only Duo hadn't wanted to sleep. And he had managed to drag Heero along with him.

Heero had agreed to go to the bar because he was hungry, but that didn't mean he was in the mood to chat. He ignored Duo and tucked into his burger.

Duo rolled his eyes and took another swig of beer. "You know how many guys would kill to be in your position?"

"What?" Heero asked between bites. He didn't want to indulge Duo's questions, but he also wanted to shut him up. Unfortunately, ignoring him never seemed to work; Heero had learned over the past few years that trying to tune Duo out only caused the braided man to turn up the volume. What _would_ help would be a swift punch to the gut, but they were in public and that would draw too much attention their way. As if the two of them, in their Preventers uniforms,weren't conspicuous enough, already.

"What do you mean 'what'?" Duo sighed and shook his head. "I mean as the object of Relena Darlian's affection. Duh."

Heero's eyes narrowed. "As usual, I have no idea what you're talking about."

" _Sure_ you don't." Duo drew out the first word in a long, lazy drawl. "I'm starting to think you already have a thing going, you just don't ever talk about it."

Heero snorted before taking another bite of his burger.

"So, I'm gonna take that as a 'yes,' then," said Duo. Heero just glared at him in response. "Eh, I can't say I'm all that surprised." Duo arched his back against his chair and grinned at Heero. "After all, you're a big fan of the cloak and dagger stuff. I'm betting Relena is, too."

Heero didn't care for Duo's incessant commentary, but it irked him whenever he dragged Relena into it.

"Again, you don't know what you're talking about," Heero growled.

"And, as usual, you're in denial," Duo said with a jab of his pointer finger. "Admit it; you've banged her." His eyes gleamed as Heero's face reddened. "Ha!" he exclaimed, giving Heero's arm a shake. "I knew it! Well, don't hold out on me any more! I need details, man."

Heero reached up and grabbed Duo's wrist, giving it an unsavory turn. Duo yelped in pain.

"All right, uncle! Sheesh!" Heero released his grip and went back to his meal. Duo wrung his hands. "Do you always have to get so physical when you're mad?!"

"Do you always have to be so invasive with your questions?" Heero muttered, knowing it wasn't the best retort, but deciding he didn't care enough to verbally spar with Duo.

Duo sighed again. "I just don't get why you're so defensive, still. The war's over, buddy; it's _been_ over. Can't you just, ya know, lighten up a bit?" He jerked a thumb up toward the ceiling. "You've got a beautiful girl up there who looks at you like you hung the moon, and you pretty much _did_." His eyes turned serious. "So if you haven't made a move already… what the hell are you waiting for?"

Heero grumbled something under his breath and took a long, slow sip of his beer. He was grateful that the drinking age for ESUN territories on Earth was 18 - which, according to his Preventers-issued ID, he was - and not 21, like it was on some colonies. Heero knew if he was going to have to deal with Duo for the duration of the conference, he was going to need a lot of alcohol.

Although Heero wasn't a fan of lowering his inhibitions, even when off-duty, Duo's lack of regard for his - not to mention Relena's - privacy set him on-edge. And made him want to slip into a drunken stupor for at least a few hours.

Besides, Relena was secure. He'd checked. Multiple times.

His thoughts turned to her as Duo continued to babble beside him.

No, Heero hadn't "sealed the deal" with Relena, as Duo kept insisting. Heero hadn't made any sort of declaration to her, and why would he? He was there, working in her detail, day after day. Even when occasional Preventer assignments took him away from her, he would eventually return to her side. They had an unspoken agreement, he and Relena; he had promised her after the war ended the first time, that he would always protect her. She knew how he felt - that she had given him a newfound purpose, that he felt he owed her his life. And although at first she had encouraged him to go to school, make new friends, explore his potential in this new, peaceful reality, Heero found he couldn't enjoy much of anything if he was far from her side. After all, why would he stray from his purpose?

Besides, he had tried it. Campus life, studying, socializing. For months he felt restless and out of place. Out of sync with everyone around him. And then he'd see Relena and feel like he could breathe again.

Not to mention, whenever he was away from her for too long, bad things tended to happen. Three times, in the past year, she'd been kidnapped or held hostage, and he blamed himself for each incident. Even though she didn't. In fact, she had seemed genuinely surprised when he told her he'd joined her detail. And that he intended to stay with her, for as long as she would allow him. Her eyes had registered her shock, but then she had smiled and nodded eagerly. Heero wouldn't admit it under pain of death - at least not to the likes of Duo - but he liked seeing Relena happy. He knew she never would have come out and asked him to do such a thing, to devote himself to her, but he'd wanted to. And, months later, he was content with his decision.

Hell, he was content in general. Unlike Duo's perception of him, Heero felt relaxed in Relena's presence. With the war behind them and a peaceful future unfolding before them, she seemed much more at ease as well. Now, they enjoyed long, comfortable silences in the same room, each cherishing their solitude and one another's company. They could both wile hours away on their laptops, neither of them speaking a word, together without requiring anything from one another.

Then there were times when they would talk, for hours, about everything and nothing at all. Most of the time they talked politics and strategy; Relena would run her speeches by Heero, and he would listen intently and make suggestions, however misguided they may be; she was the one with the experience, after all. But he was gratified that she sought his opinion; not only that, but valued it. In turn, he tried to ease her worries and, when he could, make her smile. Which, he had learned, was not a very difficult feat; he would often catch her smiling at him for seemingly no reason at all.

And, sometimes, she would ask him questions about his past. Cautiously, as if she feared any moment she would offend him, and he would take off like a frightened deer caught in the open. He was likewise guarded with what he chose to reveal. But he was growing comfortable enough to give her glimpses. At this point, the only reason he didn't divulge his entire biography to her, as he knew it, was because he was more concerned about upsetting _her_ than himself. For so long, he had dealt with his war-ravaged memories by shutting them up in some mental file he refused to access. But, slowly, carefully, Relena was chipping away at his armor. And, to his own alarm, at times, he was letting her.

That didn't mean he was ready to take things to the level Duo kept insisting on, however. And if the other Preventer knew why Heero was hesitant, he was likely to give him even more grief.

* * *

After a few more beers, Heero managed to pry Duo away from the bar. The two retreated to Relena's hotel suite, where they each had their own room. They nodded to the two Preventer agents who were guarding the suite from the hallway before swiping their keycards - a rather primitive level of security that irked Heero - and going inside.

The other agents' names escaped Heero at the moment, but he figured the booze was partially to blame. That and he had only met them that morning. Normally he would have fought Une on allowing two new recruits to join Relena's detail, but the Preventers commander had insisted the new additions had undergone thorough vetting and training. If Heero had had his way, all five former Gundam pilots would have been dispatched to this conference, as representatives from each ESUN territory was present, but Une had insisted she was confident that two of them would be enough.

And yet, all five of them, along with Zechs and Noin, had been needed the last time Relena was in danger. And that still hadn't been enough…

Heero's mind was drifting to a dark place. He shook his head in an inane effort to reroute his thoughts. Duo flopped down on the couch in the common area, announcing with an unceremonious belch that he was "so wasted." Heero didn't comment as he walked over to the door leading to Relena's room, and knocked softly. His heart thumped wildly when he didn't hear a response.

He opened the door slowly and gave a low warning. "Relena, I'm coming in." Then he pushed the door open all the way, his hand hovering over the gun he still had in the holster on his belt. On-duty and off, he always kept one close.

As he entered the dark room fully, he could see why she hadn't answered the door. The French doors leading to the outside balcony were wide open, and Relena was leaning on the railing, her back to Heero. He frowned and strode over to her.

"What do you think you're doing?"

She seemed to start, her shoulders arching up, before she turned her head to look at him. She gave a little huff, but her eyes glimmered.

"What, I'm not allowed to enjoy the view?" She turned her head back around, as if that satisfied his remark. Heero glowered at her back.

"You shouldn't be out here by yourself. You know that."

Relena sighed but didn't turn back around. "Stay with me, then."

Heero grumbled to himself but moved closer to her so that they were standing side by side. He paused to take in the view of the harbor. The water twinkled up at them, reflecting the moon and streetlights and lights from nearby buildings, but they couldn't see any stars.

"Not much of a view," he grunted.

"I think it's pretty," Relena said softly. Heero turned to look at her and saw the smile playing on her lips as she pointed to the water below. "I love looking at all the boats. My dad took me sailing a few times as a child…"

He knew by her "dad," she was referring to the late Vice Foreign Minister Darlian, not her birth father, who she didn't remember. Heero nodded and looked down at all the sailboats and luxury yachts tethered to the docks. Relena sighed and sank her cheek into her palm, both her elbows leaning on the railing. "What I wouldn't give to spend a day out on the water…"

In moments like these, Heero had learned to offer Relena some small comfort, or at least remind her that her life's work, while difficult, gave hope and purpose to millions. Including himself. He didn't feel a need to remind her of that now. Perhaps, he thought, as he watched her staring dreamily at the water, it had been said enough. Instead, he slipped an arm around her and hugged her to his side. She rested her head on his shoulder, and he allowed the contact for a few minutes before defaulting to protocol.

"Let's go inside," he said quietly. She sighed her agreement. He released her and she followed after him.

Heero shut - and locked - the French doors before drawing the thick curtains across them. He stood there frowning at them for a moment until Relena tapped his shoulder.

"Penny for your thoughts?" she teased. It was a phrase she used around him constantly; at first, Heero had had to admit he didn't know what it meant. It was some idiom that had been lost in translation, but now he understood. He turned to face her, still frowning.

"I've decided I don't like these doors." Relena burst out laughing.

"Oh, Heero," she sighed, giving him a knowing look before sauntering over to her private bathroom and shutting the door. That was another thing she was always saying around him, but she never offered an explanation. He wondered what he might be doing to amuse her so much, when he was just trying to do his job.

He wasn't sure what to do with himself while Relena was in the bathroom, but she hadn't indicated that she wanted him to leave, so Heero did his usual checks around the room. Which he had already done, several times, but he could never be _too_ thorough.

Some, including Duo, may have called his methods obsessive, and would surmise that Heero's motives were more personal than professional. But Heero's… jaw went slack when Relena emerged from the bathroom, having changed out of her work clothes and into a white nightgown that hugged every curve. She seemed oblivious to his sudden awareness, however, as she padded over to him.

"Well?" She planted her hands on her hips and tipped her head to the side. Heero forced himself to maintain eye contact and frowned at her.

"Well, what?"

"Have you declared my room safe again?" She spoke in her most businesslike tone, but Heero had a feeling she was mocking him.

"It appears that way." Heero glanced around them again, for good measure. Relena rolled her eyes at him before climbing onto the king-sized bed, which was far too large for a person of her size, he couldn't help but note. It was almost comical, looking at her sitting in the middle of the thing. She smiled up at him and he wondered if she was reading his thoughts. Thoughts he quickly forced away.

"Well, I'll leave you to it." He turned and headed for the door.

"Now you wait just a minute, Heero Yuy." Her firm tone took him by surprise. He turned back around, his hand poised over the doorknob.

"What's wrong?" he asked immediately. Relena was glaring up at him from the bed, arms folded across her chest. The motion had a very annoying way of showcasing her ample cleavage, thanks to her low-cut nightgown. Heero's jaw tightened. _Goddammit…_

"Don't think you can get away with things so easily," she said coolly, quirking a brow.

"Huh?" Heero couldn't keep his brow from furrowing. "What are you talking about?"

"You had alcohol," she said, her lips creasing. "Without me." Heero arched a brow.

"And that upsets you… why?"

"Because you and Duo went off to have fun, leaving me here to be babysat." Her lower lip jutted out, a reminder of the pampered society girl she used to be. Heero chuckled.

"I wouldn't call it fun…"

"Well, still." Relena turned her face away. "You could've at least invited me."

Heero let out a slow breath - the closest he would come to sighing out loud - and took a few tentative steps toward the bed. "It's not that we didn't want you to come," he said.

"It's that I'm a walking liability, right?" Relena turned her face back to look at him. "I understand, you two want time to do your own thing when you're off-duty. I get it." She pouted again, and Heero wondered if she was serious. He scratched the back of his head and sat down on the edge of the bed.

"You really want to hang out with… me and Duo?" Heero frowned, trying to picture the three of them spending time as… friends. It was a bizarre picture. He hardly even considered Duo a friend, more like a stray animal he had started feeding out of pity that refused to go away…

"Why wouldn't I?" Relena shot him an exasperated look. "We're all friends, right?" Once again, it was as if she had pierced his thoughts. Heero frowned and looked down at the fluffy white duvet covering the bed.

"Well… yeah, I guess," he said slowly, realizing immediately it was a poor choice of words. He looked back up to see Relena's pouting had only worsened. "I mean… we are friends. You and I. Duo…" Heero shrugged one shoulder. "I guess I don't… mind him hanging around. Sometimes." Relena's eyes went wide, and then she started to laugh. Heero was grateful, at least, that she had stopped pouting. It was unnerving, the way her troubled looks upset him.

She crawled over to his corner of the bed. Heero backed up unconsciously, although if he sat back any further, he would be on the floor. She came to a stop mere inches away.

"Oh, Heero." There it was again. But this time she smiled and poked his arm. "When are you going to take me out for fun?"

"For fun?" he echoed, as if it were a foreign concept.

"Yes." Her eyes flashed at him. The look on her face was dangerous, he decided. "I want to go out. Now."

"Now?!" Heero's brows lifted along with his raised voice.

"Yes," Relena said again, with more insistence. "We could have a night on the town." A grin spread slowly across her face. "I've never gotten to explore here much before, and I've heard so many good things…"

Heero was already shaking his head "no," and Relena's pout returned.

"But there's so much to do here. And so much history. And even _you_ love history," she said pointedly, giving his arm another jab.

"It's a city. And it's late. And there are too many variables," Heero said tersely. Relena's face fell.

"Right," she sighed. "I should know better than to try to get you to be a little spontaneous." She lowered her eyes and started twisting the hem of her nightgown.

Heero let out another huff before edging closer to her. His fingers joined hers. Relena glanced up at him through her dark lashes, her cheeks flushed.

"I know," Heero said softly, "that you think I go overboard sometimes, Relena. But this is why."

Ever so slowly, he inched up her nightgown, higher up her thigh, stopping where the scar started. The long, jagged disfigurement that was still pink and raised and puffy, marring her otherwise perfect skin. Heero's eyes burned as he traced a finger over it. Relena winced and jerked back, clasping the fabric tightly as she yanked it down.

"I'm sorry," Heero murmured, backing away himself. "Does it… hurt, still?"

"No." Relena shook her head, her eyes downcast. "Not any more. I guess it's more… emotionally painful than anything, at this point." She shivered, and Heero knew a dark memory had descended. He was struggling not to focus on that moment he found her, lying in a pool of her own blood on the ballroom floor of the Sanc castle. On her birthday, of all days.

That was four months ago.

He lifted a throw blanket from the end of the bed and placed it around Relena's shoulders. She looked up at him with moist eyes, but managed a smile. Heero leaned forward and thumbed under her lashline, wishing he could do more to chase away her demons.

Her lips parted, as if she might say something, then she appeared to change her mind and clamped her mouth shut. Heero knew she still didn't want to talk about that night. Of all the things they talked about, all about the war and the days before they met, it was the one thing neither of them liked to bring up. He tried to think of a way to make her feel better, for now.

He brought his hand down to caress her cheek, eliciting another smile. He did his best to give her one in return.

"Want to raid the mini-bar?" he asked her. Relena's face lit up.

"Yes, please."

* * *

 _If you like this so far, please favorite/follow and review! More to come._ _Leave a comment on what drunken shenanigans you think our favorite trio should get into!_ _Happy Thirsty Thursday and Anime Boston eve (yes, this story is set in Boston, in honor of the convention). :)_

 _\- RGS_


	2. Jelly Bean Temptation

Heero and Relena sat cross-legged across from one another in the middle of her hotel bed, the contents of the mini-bar spread out between them. Heero had discarded his Preventers jacket, but that was the closest thing to casual he was emanating. Relena had tucked her nightgown carefully between her legs to avoid flashing her underwear at Heero, wondering if he would even care if she did. Maybe, just _maybe_ , she thought it would be fun to get a rise out of him. For now, she decided to behave. Mostly. But she couldn't help but smile broadly as she rummaged through their pile of treasures.

"Hmm, what do I want…" she sang out softly as she surveyed the scattered miniature bottles and snacks.

"What's going to get you in the least amount of trouble?" Relena glanced up to see Heero smiling wryly. She enjoyed seeing him relaxed, finally. She much preferred this side of him to the storm cloud that came barreling into her room earlier.

She tapped her chin thoughtfully. "Define 'trouble'..."

"What is 'Relena Darlian,'" Heero muttered. Relena gaped at him.

"Heero," she breathed. "Was that a… joke?" He just nodded toward the pile.

"Pick something."

Relena selected the biggest bottle of the batch and smiled mischievously. Heero quirked a brow.

"Did you pick that because it's pink?"

She laughed and shook the bottle, swirling the pink-colored contents. "Maybe." She read the gold foil label and squealed. " _Ooooh,_ 'sex on the beach' premixed cocktail!"

Heero grimaced. "That sounds disgusting."

"Oh, Heero," Relena huffed, her exhale sending her bangs flying upward. "You're such a prude." Heero flushed.

"I meant," he said slowly, "the whole 'premixed cocktail' thing. That sounds… awful."

"Now where's your sense of adventure?" Relena rolled her eyes playfully as she grabbed a colorful bag of jelly beans from the pile. "Well, I'm all set." She grinned at him. "Your turn."

Heero looked skeptically at her selections. "So… you're going to be on a drunken sugar high." Relena trilled a laugh.

"Yes," she cackled. "That's the idea." Heero shook his head morosely.

"And I get to be the one to supervise this…"

"Oh, no you don't." Relena wagged a finger at him. "You're off for the night, remember? You're not my bodyguard, now; you're my partner in crime." Relena pointed her finger toward the door. "Mike and James are on the lookout now, so you can just relax." She cracked the seal on her bottle. "And join me."

* * *

Duo was stretched out on the couch in the hotel suite's common area, scrolling absentmindedly through his phone. He had tried to reach Hilde, but the signal from Boston to the L2 colony was proving to be especially lousy. His Preventers-issue phone could usually bypass any connectivity issues, but so far he wasn't having any luck. He blamed the old hotel they were staying in, in one of America's oldest cities, to boot.

He'd had more than a few beers and was beyond tipsy, and bored again. Which, for Duo, could prove to be a dangerous combination.

At the moment, though, he was too lazy to get up and explore. Instead he found himself staring curiously at the door to the room Relena was staying in, where Heero had disappeared… a while ago. Duo smirked before sitting up and rising from the couch, half-stumbling over his own feet. Then, as stealthily as he could manage, he crept over to Relena's door.

 _Heck yeah!_ He chuckled to himself as he bent down and pressed his face to the keyhole. _This is gonna be good..._

* * *

Heero watched as Relena took a sip of her premixed cocktail. Her face immediately soured.

" _Ack,"_ she sputtered. Then she held the bottle out to Heero. He shook his head once.

"No, thanks."

"Oh, come on." Relena's eyes glittered. "It's horrible- you _have_ to."

With an eye roll, Heero relented and reached a hand out for the bottle. She handed it over and he took a swig, blanching at the sickly-sweet taste. Relena convulsed into giggles. Heero sealed the bottle back up and set it aside.

"Moving on," he muttered.

"How about a palette cleanser?" Relena tore into the bag of jelly beans and proffered it to Heero. "What's your color?"

"What's my _color_?" He frowned. "I don't have a color."

"Oh, come on. _Everyone_ has a color." Heero shrugged, and Relena's face softened. "Haven't you tried jelly beans before?"

"I don't know. Probably not." He didn't think they were common on his war-torn colony when he was a kid. The realization seemed to dawn on Relena, who looked at him sadly for a moment before giving him a gentle smile.

"All right, then. You'll just have to try them all." Heero gaped down at the bag. "One of each," she said, giving the bag a shake. "Then you have to pick a favorite."

"Fine." Heero started picking through the bag, pulling out jelly beans in red, green, black, yellow… until, at last, he had a rainbow in the palm of his hands. He looked doubtfully over at Relena before popping the red one in his mouth. His mouth exploded with the overly-sweet flavor. He couldn't even tell what it was supposed to be.

"What are these made of?" he asked after he'd swallowed. Relena grinned.

"Oh, you know. Dyes, chemicals, gelatin, corn syrup…" She flapped a hand.

His nose crinkled. "I thought those ingredients were outlawed."

"Not here!" Relena said cheerfully. She pointed to the small pile in Heero's hands. "Go on; keep going."

"You're not serious-" he started, but she nodded eagerly at him. He glowered at her before trying the rest of the jelly bean flavors, each more artificial-tasting than the last. The only one that tasted the way it was supposed to was the black one, which at least resembled the flavor of licorice. But Heero decided he didn't like licorice, either.

"So?" Relena asked when he was all done. "What's the verdict?"

"The verdict is you have terrible taste in snacks." Relena's eyes rolled at his answer.

"If you had to pick _one…_ "

If it had been Duo or anyone else pestering him, Heero would have likewise rolled his eyes derisively, or outright ignored them. But he knew this was Relena's way of introducing him to "normal" experiences, and knew, by now, to interpret it as her caring for him. And so he couldn't help but indulge her whims. She smiled sweetly at him, and he was determined to appease her.

If only he could indulge his own desires so easily… But he couldn't. Not like this.

Her sudden movement shook him from his thoughts. Relena got up, onto her knees, and grasped him by the shoulders.

"Heero," she said, her tone low and serious. "This isn't a big decision; it's just a kneejerk reaction." She gave his shoulders a squeeze. "What do you like?"

His eyes widened at her touch. She was so close... Instinctively, he tensed and pulled back. "Nothing," he said flatly. Relena's eyes only briefly revealed her disappointment.

"That's too bad," she said softly, releasing his shoulders and sitting back down. "Let's find something else, then…" She busied herself rooting through the pile.

Heero sat watching her closely, hyper-aware of her every movement, his eyes following every subtle motion, dragging over the contours of her body where he longed to place his hands, and… He turned his face away and glanced around for something else to look at, settling on a nautical painting on the wall above the bed. As usual, his sense of duty was at war with his desires. Despite how _good_ it would feel to lay her down, right there, on that king-sized bed, and act out his long-suppressed emotions... he couldn't allow himself to compromise her, or her safety. What if, while he was distracted, the worst happened? He could never, ever forgive himself.

 _The cost of compromise is too high,_ Heero scolded himself with his newly-formed mantra.

* * *

Duo slunk away from the keyhole.

"Boring!" he proclaimed out loud. He was unsure of what he had just witnessed, but all he could see was Relena and Heero sitting on her bed, facing each other, talking. "Only those two could lock themselves up in a hotel room for a night and… _talk_ ," Duo complained to the empty room. He couldn't help but wonder how long it would take Heero to actually strike up the nerve to make a move on Relena, or if he even wanted to. "But that guy's about as far from normal as they come…"

Duo paced around the living room, trying to think of something else to do. Part of him wanted to concoct a plan to help Heero _get some_ , while a tiny voice in the back of his head warned him to mind his own business.

"But I can't just leave those two alone!" he whined. With a huff, he wandered over to the suite's kitchenette. "Whatever, those losers can just stay virgins forever, for all I care. At least I'm not as inept as the _perfect soldier_." Duo laughed at his own joke as he yanked open the refrigerator in search of snacks. He was happy to find it well-stocked, as these rooms usually were for a diplomat of Relena's level. "Sa-weet!"

* * *

Relena watched Heero as he looked sullenly at a painting on the wall, avoiding eye contact with her. She sighed out loud and broke open a nip of tequila, then threw it back. Heero swung his eyes back over to her, frowning.

"What's wrong?" She frowned right back at him. "You _said_ we could-"

"I know." His scowl slowly evaporated, and he picked up another nip of tequila and copied Relena. She beamed at him after he'd emptied it.

"Feel better?"

He shrugged one shoulder. "I don't feel anything."

"Oh, Heero…" Relena took a risk and inched closer to him, fully expecting him to back away. Like her childhood cat, Mittens, whenever she'd tried to smother him with affection…

But Heero remained still, this time, as she traced her hand up his arm.

"What happened to my happy Heero?" she sighed, feeling slightly buzzed from the shot. And, therefore, emboldened. His eyebrows shot up.

"Happy?"

"Yes. Happy," she repeated firmly. "I've seen it. You've actually started to relax, lately. Even crack a smile now and then." She gave his arm a poke. "It's been… nice."

"I'll relax when this conference is over," Heero said tersely, "and we're back at your home. Which I know is secure, because I've seen to it, personally."

"Of course." Relena tipped her head. "But it's your home too, you know." She had given him his own room at her townhouse in Brussels, which she hoped he was enjoying. Even just a little.

Heero's eyes seemed to search hers. "Yeah…"

Relena gave him a knowing look and squeezed his arm. "We're safe here, you know. There are two Preventer agents guarding the door. And another former Gundam pilot right in the next room…" Heero scoffed, but she continued unabashed. "You can relax, Heero. At least for the night." He continued to sit there, stiff as a board, gazing at her with his intense expression. "Heero, please. _Relax,_ " she commanded.

When he didn't say anything, Relena returned her attention to the pile of booze. "Fine, then. Let's do another shot."

"Another one?" Heero asked warily. "One should be enough, for you." Relena laughed darkly.

"Oh, no. I don't think so." She picked up another bottle as Heero's hand shot out to stop her.

"You don't want to get sick. Or be hungover tomorrow. You have meetings in the morning." Relena's eyes rolled again.

"Maybe I do," she retorted. "Maybe I _want_ to be up all night, hurling, while you hold back my hair." She laughed at the mental image, but Heero didn't join her. "Come on…" She reached over and tugged on his sleeve. "Let's _live_ a little."

Heero looked at her doubtfully but didn't interfere as she cracked open the bottle and downed the next shot. Her head immediately swam, and she grinned over at him.

"That's better." She nudged another bottle toward Heero. "Come on. Get on my level."

Heero responded with a little growl, which Relena found more adorable than threatening. Like Mittens when he'd bat at her hand or try to bite her. But he obediently downed a second shot, and then a third. And by number three, Relena was feeling quite heady and happy. She gave a contented sigh and flopped down on the bed.

* * *

Duo grabbed a beer from the refrigerator, cracked it open and took a mighty swig before rummaging through the rest of the fridge's contents. He pulled out a jar of salsa, a container of guacamole dip and a tub of what appeared to be nacho cheese, judging from the thick, orange-colored liquid, and the sombrero-wearing character on the sticker.

"Now we're talkin'!" Duo yanked open a cupboard and found a big glass bowl. He filled it up with a bag of tortilla chips and began dumping the other ingredients on top. "Time for some 'chos, bros!"

Duo examined the oven, not knowing what temperature to set it to; so he started pushing buttons until the numbers wouldn't go any higher.

"There!" He opened the oven door and placed his concoction on the upper rack. "These are gonna be _sooo good_ …"

He picked up his beer bottle and took another swig before ambling back into the living room and flopping down on the couch. The television remote was right where he left it.

"There's gotta be _something_ good to watch…" He flipped through channels until he landed on an old zombie movie, just as a grotesque-looking creature was sinking his blackened and bloodied teeth into a terrified man's neck. The onscreen character let out a rather unmanly scream as the zombie feasted upon his flesh.

"Yessssss…" Duo settled happily against the couch cushions as his snack continued to cook. "Beer in my hand, 'chos in the oven, zombies on TV… this conference ain't so bad, after all…"

But even the horror movie failed to keep Duo's interest. After a few more violent scenes, he was sound asleep.

* * *

 _A/N: Happy Friday! The goal was to post more of this drunken epic for Thirsty Thursday, so we'll have to call this "Frisky Friday" instead. Of course it's Good Friday so we do hope you'll all behave! ;) We'd like to thank all of the reviewers so far, especially the guest reviewers that we can't reach out to personally! So glad you like this so far. To address one comment, there may very well be more romance ahead, and you will find out more of what happened to Relena on her birthday. But just a note, this is not a direct sequel to "Three Sheets," but rather a continuation of the same idea... The characters are a little older in the other story, and only teens in this one. Just something to keep in mind. Also, thanks to those of you who made suggestions; we will keep them in mind! If you have any more ideas, please feel free to share!_

 _\- The Squad_


	3. New Discussion Topics

_A/N: Happy Thirsty Thursday! Here's some more tipsy fun for your reading pleasure! We hope you enjoy and let us know if you like where this is going! We always value your feedback._

 _Cheers!_

 _\- RGS_

* * *

Heero's head buzzed, his body going simultaneously warm and numb. It wasn't an unpleasant feeling. He stared at Relena where she laid on the bed. His heart pounded. His body knew exactly what he wanted to do, and was responding accordingly. But Heero wasn't drunk enough to cave into his impulses. Not entirely.

But he was feeling relaxed enough to lie down beside her, in the opposite direction of her body, so that their heads were close while he propped his feet up against the headboard. Relena was right; relaxing felt good. He closed his eyes in contentment and all the tension he'd been carrying flowed out of him as he concentrated on the sound of Relena breathing softly beside him. They were close enough that her hair tickled his ear.

"Heero," she said softly, "do you really think sex is gross?"

His eyes flew open, and he worked to calm himself. "I said the drink, 'sex on the beach,' was gross..."

Relena prattled on as if she hadn't heard him. "I was going to ask how you'd know. Unless you'd done it already and hadn't told me." She turned her head to look at him, and they were nose to nose. Heero's mouth dropped open.

"No… I haven't," he admitted. Relena's face relaxed and she smiled.

"Good," she whispered. And, before Heero knew what was happening, she tipped her chin up and kissed him, upside down. It was a light kiss - more of a peck - and she broke it off almost as quickly as it happened, giggling and turning her face away.

Heero was shellshocked. He bolted upright, his head spinning. _Now_ what was he supposed to do?

Relena's voice stopped him in his tracks, but did nothing to keep his mind from reeling out of control. "What _do_ you think of sex on the beach, then?" she asked innocently.

Heero cleared his throat and tried to recover. "Overrated," he said flatly.

"Really?" She turned to look at him again before propping herself up on her elbows. "That's one of my fantasies you know." She closed her eyes and sighed wistfully, tipping her head back. "It's on my bucket list."

Heero frowned. Partially at her macabre words, and partially because, with her chest propped up like that, she looked kissable. _Very_ kissable. Like she was asking him to, really.

"You're too young to have a bucket list," he said scornfully, resisting the growing urge to pounce on her.

"I disagree, given our chosen vocations," she said softly. "It's just the world we live in. We never know if we even have tomorrow, Heero." She opened her eyes and turned them on him. His heart stirred at her words. He lifted a hand to her face and stroked her cheek.

"That may be true, but you don't have to worry about all that." He frowned, searching for the right words. His head was still swimming. "That's… my job."

Relena nodded and lifted an arm, reaching for him. Heero pulled her into his arms, cradling her to his chest as he leaned back against the pillows. She nuzzled against his neck and let out a heavy sigh as her hands found their way into his hair.

"I don't want you to worry, either," she whispered, pulling back to look at him. Heero pressed his forehead to hers.

"I'll do whatever it takes to keep you safe, Relena," he vowed. "You leave that up to me."

She bit her lower lip and nodded, resting her hands on his chest. Heero had to struggle to suppress the moan that rose up in the back of his throat. The things he wanted to do…

"Tell me," she said softly, her eyes dancing up at his. "What's on your bucket list, Heero?" Her question caught him off guard. He reached up to ruffle her hair.

"I don't have one," he said simply. "But then I never planned on living this long."

"Fair enough." Relena tugged at his shirt. "Then… where's the craziest place you'd ever have sex?" Heero's eyes widened.

"I… haven't thought about it." Relena's eyes rolled.

"Oh, _sure_ you have…"

"Fine," Heero relented, knowing he should be embarrassed to share with Relena. For some reason, though, he wasn't. "In my Gundam," he admitted. "Although, it's too late, now…"

Relena's eyes bulged. Then she burst out laughing.

"Oh, Heero…"

* * *

Duo's head felt fuzzy as he blinked awake.

"Hilde?" he mumbled, then realized he was cuddling a couch cushion. "Ugh. Bummer." He raised bleary eyes to look up at the TV screen on the wall, and saw the zombie movie he'd started was still going, a throng of mindless creatures rushing straight for him. "Ah! Dammit." He winced. "I hate those fast zombies. Scary motherf-"

He stopped and sniffed the air. It smelled like something was… burning. Duo frowned, wondering what it could possibly be.

"Someone must be cooking somethin'," he muttered, picking up the TV remote. "Meh, I'm tired of fuckin' zombies…"

He stopped flipping when he came to an old Hollywood musical. The brightly-dressed dancing characters practically lept off the screen, and Duo found himself singing along.

" _Good morninnnnnnn', good morrrrrrnin', good MORNIN' TO YOUUUUUU!"_

He was still clutching the couch cushion and eyed it warily. "Now don't you tell anyone about this, or we're gonna have a little problem here. Comprendo?"

The cushion didn't answer him and Duo shrugged. "Okay. Cool. I'm gonna get another beer. Ya want anything? Nah? Allrighty, then."

He swung his legs over the couch and stumbled toward the kitchen.

* * *

Relena knew it was downright wicked of her, but she was secretly enjoying watching the struggle in Heero's eyes.

She knew that look well. Over the past few months, since Heero joined her detail full-time, she started seeing that look cross his face fairly often. She tried to pretend that she couldn't help it, but she relished seeing him get all… hot and bothered. And, admittedly, often did whatever she could to press his buttons. Heero just looked so adorably flustered and frustrated, staring at her as if she were an intricate part of the Zero System he was trying to engineer.

Sometimes, just sometimes, that look would lead to more. An unexpected stolen kiss, or two. Those moments, too, had ramped up in frequency lately, although the two of them were rarely _truly_ alone.

Relena's goal was to change that. Starting now.

So far, they were off to a good start, hidden away in her hotel room together. The tequila, she decided, had been a very good idea. Not only had she succeeded in getting the indefatigable Heero Yuy to relax, and open up a little more... he was even talking about _sex,_ of all things. And talking about it, Relena decided, was the next best thing to having it. At the very least, it got them a little closer.

She'd always enjoyed probing Heero about all sorts of topics. But this one had to be her new favorite.

"So… how would that work, anyway?" she asked him with a smirk.

"What?" Heero's brow furrowed, and he looked even more adorably bewildered.

"Sex in a Gundam." Relena giggled into her hand.

Heero's eyes widened briefly, but then he relaxed his features. "You would have to sit on my lap." His lips curved upward. Relena gasped playfully.

"Oh, so you picture _me_ in this scenario?"

"Who else," Heero deadpanned. "I don't like just anyone touching my mobile suit."

Relena gaped at him for a beat before erupting in laughter. It was as if Heero Yuy had been waiting his whole life to tell that joke. She peered up at him through her tears - she couldn't help but tear up when she laughed that hard - and was rewarded with a rare smile. One that reached his eyes. Then he started laughing, too. Relena collapsed against his shoulder, still giggling. She clung to Heero, grateful for their growing bond that allowed them - with the help of a little alcohol - to share moments like these.

She felt his hands come up to rest on her lower back, pulling her closer to him than she already was. She nestled further into his shoulder, wondering if she should think of it as a more-than-friendly embrace. But then she felt... something against her leg as he held her, and her face instantly flamed. No, there was nothing merely friendly about this… and, anyway, they had kissed before.

And she wanted to do it again. As soon as possible.

Relena slowly raised her head off of Heero's shoulder and pulled her face back just enough to look him in the eye, so that their noses were almost touching. A memory flicked through her mind, of the first time their faces were ever that close, knowing that they absolutely would have kissed in that moment- if not for the damn spacesuit helmets they wore. But in that moment she had forgotten all about that, and had thought, for certain, it was going to be her first kiss with Heero. Her first kiss ever. But then he'd smiled and pushed her away, severing their contact, and she couldn't help but fear the worst - that they may be parted forever. Now, she smiled at the memory, and the way things had turned out. So much better than she'd even hoped.

Heero was looking at her, too, but his smile had faded. His eyes were hooded, pensive. Curious. He lifted his hand and brushed strands of Relena's hair off her face, but otherwise neither of them moved. Finally, Relena just closed her eyes, and waited. After a moment, she was rewarded with the touch of his lips against hers. She smiled as their lips parted, glad she had decided to let him make the first move.

Relena could count on one hand how many times they had done this. But this kiss was different. Deeper. She felt as if Heero were trying to pull him into her. Absorb her. His hands grasped the back of her neck, tangling in her hair, as he pushed his tongue into her mouth. Relena eagerly granted him entry, enjoying the new sensation of his tongue against hers. Their past kisses had been quick and chaste, but this one was slower in comparison, and much… wetter. Eventually Relena had to break contact with Heero, just to breathe, but as soon as they'd both caught their breaths, they were back at it again.

They moved against each other and Relena found herself almost on top of Heero, but then he rolled her back against the mattress so that he was practically straddling her. His eyes flashed before his lips returned to hers. Relena was starting to get the impression that he liked to be in control.

As they continued to kiss Heero's hands began to roam, but his touches were light and gentle wherever they landed. Cautious. Respectful, even. Relena knew, without a doubt, that Heero respected her. So much that she was surprised he was even doing this. But she was glad they'd manage to break down the invisible barriers between them enough to get this far, and she hoped she wouldn't jinx it by overanalyzing…

Thankfully, Heero's mind must have been numb to whatever doubts and fears usually seemed to keep him from pursuing a more physical relationship with her. He didn't seem distracted or worried at all, as he stopped kissing her long enough to look her in the eye, and give her a little smirk, before reaching down and pulling up the hem of her nightgown.

Relena's breath caught as Heero dragged the flimsy garment up and over her head. She raised her arms to make it easier on him, and he peeled it off of her, then dropped it on the floor. She flushed, lying there next to Heero in just her bra and panties, vulnerable and exposed. She watched as his gaze dragged over her body, and a smirk continued to play on his lips. She decided he must like what he was seeing. Then she felt a rush of heat as he snaked his arms around her waist and pulled her back against him, kissing her fully on the lips.

Their kisses began to grow in passion, and Relena could feel every sensation intensify as Heero's hands drifted over her bare skin. She wanted to start undressing him, too; it was only fair, after all. If she was going to bare herself to him, she hoped he would be just as willing. But then he reached up of his own accord and loosened his tie until the loop was big enough to pull over his head. Relena couldn't keep the smile from her face as she began unbuttoning his dress shirt, although she was suddenly too shy to make eye contact. Her cheeks burned as she completed the task, opening his shirt to reveal a white tank top beneath. Heero slipped out of his dress shirt and yanked his undershirt over his head. Relena couldn't help but grin when she took in his taut muscles; she knew he worked out all the time, and he was just the right amount of toned. In fact, she thought, everything about him was just about perfect. The closest thing to perfection in human form.

She ran her hands over his chiseled chest and abdomen and was surprised to see his muscles retract. His back arched and his eyes flashed at her.

"What's wrong?" she asked, resting her hands against his chest.

"It… tickles," he admitted. Relena giggled and rested her head in the place where his neck met his shoulder.

"Sorry," she murmured. "I can't help myself."

"Hn." She felt his hands fumbling with her bra strap, and she drew in a sharp breath.

"Heero?" she whispered, too shy again to meet his eyes.

"Yes?"

"Are we… really doing this?"

His hands paused. "If you want."

Relena lifted her head to look in his eyes. They were ocean-blue and serene. She smiled, relieved to see for now, at least, the storm clouds that were often there had parted.

"We can stop, if you want," he added, resting his hands against her back.

She didn't want to stop. Not ever. She had wanted this for a while now, but hardly even allowed herself to go there in her mind, not even in her wildest dreams. Her feelings for Heero were clear and uncomplicated, but the lust burning inside her was new and… terrifying. Sure, it was easy enough to flirt and tease him, but when it really came down to it…

Was she ready?

Her heart fluttered wildly as she looked at Heero. She couldn't think of anything to say, although she knew a simple "yes" or "no" would suffice. But if they stopped now, when, if ever, would they find themselves in this position again? Part of Relena feared Heero would fall back on protocol the minute they were back in Brussels. Or perhaps even the next day. A new fear prickled in her chest. What if, after tonight, he ended up regretting the whole thing, blaming it on the booze, and dismissing it as if it never happened?

 _No._ Her mind raced along with her heart. _Heero wouldn't do that… Would he?_

"Relena…" His voice, low and husky, cut into her panicked thoughts. He frowned, and she was anxious over what he might have to say. What if he wanted to call the whole thing off, after all?

His brow furrowed, and his nose twitched, sniffing the air. He jerked his head over his shoulder and looked toward the bedroom door.

"Is something… burning?"


End file.
